“Boink”
2020
Painting
150×200cm each, acrylic, charcoal, paper
"Boink" 1-6
2020
Charcoal, acrylic, paper
150cm × 200cm each
When I was a kid, I was afraid that I would overeat, and the food would break through my stomach and ribs, but I always can’t help overeating. Similar things always come to my mind when I was day dreaming. I tried to ignore them, but as time went by, they became more and more precise, so I decided to take them seriously and stop ignoring them. When I tried to see them clearly, they were not as scary as I thought. I subconsciously rejected them because I was afraid that the “normal” world would not accept them. They lived with me for a long time, and when I was a child, they always hid behind me like monsters, trying to devour me. When I grew up, I thought I was strong enough to face them squarely; I thought they had disappeared. But they always come back.
This series of works are concerned with my memories: relationships with parents, friends, society and more. Ideas of an unconscious mind and a variety of nightly dreams take a central part in the work. Going back through memories and the stories behind them. I am interested in why certain scenes keep coming to mind and why they have influence.
When considering Freud’s Oedipus complex, in regards to human nature, the impact of parent’s influence over their kids, although ‘odd’, speaks to love and jealousy in family relationships. I try to express feelings of parental influence as relating to myself.
Another psychodynamic theorist, Jacques Lacan theorized a ‘mirror stage’, which speaks to that first moment of childhood self-recognition. I continue to look in the mirror to know myself more. This work reveals that self as a mirror.